hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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