I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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