I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
