the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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