Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
