a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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