he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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