Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
