I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
