WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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