Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
people are starting to question the shark bite story
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
