Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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