this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
She announced her abortion via fbk
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
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