I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
