i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize