even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
