How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I lost the right to judge tonight
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
