If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Randomize
