She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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