So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize