Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Randomize
