good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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