dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
