the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
