Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
