Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
How naked do you want me to be?
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