i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You need a sexual gate keeper
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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