when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Randomize
