Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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