btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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