Buhtt sex?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize