Jerry, you need to find god
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize