she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
