Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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