I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
