I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
