I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
