2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
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