My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Every concussion has its silver lining
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
