Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
