On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
