My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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