She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
