they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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