She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
