did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
