Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She bit a glass in half.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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