my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
