whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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