Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
