Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
