it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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