'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
