my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
