I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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