We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
