Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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