I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
