woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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