Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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